You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
