Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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