You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
