Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
