i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
