For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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