So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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