Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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