He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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