Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
