Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
