Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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