You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
