I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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