Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
