when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize