Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
