dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
