Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize