Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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