dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My penis needs a shock collar
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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