hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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