Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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