who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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