i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
