people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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