Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize