Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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