Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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