hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
