How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
where are my eyebrows?
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