Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
