thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize