i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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