You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
