wanna go halves on a baby?
Buhtt sex?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My dick has a subreddit
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
