butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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