i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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