I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
