You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
