How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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