it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
