the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize