I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
