your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
