marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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