Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize