1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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