"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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