woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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