I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
