I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
