Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
