Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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