What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
