Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
