True but thats because hes a fetus.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
They have beer where we have blood.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
