I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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