yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
