Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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