I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
