WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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