Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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