Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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