He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
