dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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