So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
