Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
