You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
