So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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