The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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