are you still at the devil's house?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
