Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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