and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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